You Don’t Have to Keep Earning Your Worth.
Therapy in Redlands and throughout California for anxious and people-pleasing women who feel responsible for everyone else’s emotions.
Email me to start the conversation and schedule a free consultation.
Therapist in Redlands Helping Women Rebuild Self-Trust & Emotional Clarity
Online Therapist in Redlands and throughout California for women who feel overwhelmed and alone.
Somewhere along the way, you learned that love is safer when you’re easy to be around — agreeable, helpful, low-maintenance. So you became the one who smooths things over, anticipates reactions, and makes sure everyone else feels okay.
Even when you don’t.
When Staying Connected Means Shrinking
You feel like you can’t take it anymore.
There are moments you want to crawl out of your own skin. You are tired of trying to get it right. You say the right thing. You do the right thing. You adjust, soften, accommodate.
And still, being “too much” somehow never feels like enough.
Someone is always disappointed. Or at least, it feels that way.
You cannot shake the sense that you are responsible for how everyone else feels.
You live in constant tension between being too much and not enough.
Your emotions feel too big for the room, so you shrink them. You explain them away. You apologize for them.
You monitor yourself constantly, hoping this time you won’t upset anyone.
You want to feel seen.
But not at the cost of being too much.
It feels like you have spent your whole life shape-shifting just to stay connected. You learned that love feels steadier when you are agreeable, helpful, low-maintenance.
So you became the one who smooths things over.
Even when it costs you.
You absorb tension that was never yours to carry. You take on guilt that does not belong to you. You keep earning your place in the room.
And still, you feel alone.
Sometimes it feels like something in you is broken.
You ache for relief. For safety inside yourself. For the ability to exist without shrinking to stay loved.
When Staying Connected Doesn’t Require Shrinking
You begin to recognize what you need and trust that it matters.
You feel the pull to manage everyone else’s emotions and choose not to.
You notice when something belongs to someone else, and you let it stay there.
You speak honestly, even when your voice shakes.
You allow someone to be disappointed without making it mean you did something wrong.
You stop earning your place in the room.
You take up space without apologizing for it.
You are allowed to be loved without earning it.
It may feel unfamiliar to even consider that.
You might notice the part of you that immediately pushes back.
The part that says, “But if I stop trying so hard, everything will fall apart.”
That part makes sense.
It learned that staying connected required staying small.
But there is another way to be in relationships.
One where you can stay connected without disappearing.
You Can Stop Earning Your Worth
Hi, I’m Kathy — a therapist in Redlands, CA. I work with anxious and people-pleasing women who feel responsible for everyone else’s emotions and struggle to set boundaries without guilt.
You may look capable on the outside. But inside, you’re exhausted from overthinking every interaction, replaying conversations, and trying to make sure no one is disappointed in you.
Somewhere along the way, you learned that love has to be earned — by being agreeable, easy, helpful, low-maintenance.
And it’s exhausting.
I help women rebuild their inner foundations so they can move through the world with steadiness and self-trust — without shape-shifting to keep the peace.
In our work together, you’ll learn to stop feeling ashamed of your emotions and begin creating safety to be your full self in your relationships.
You’ll learn what belongs to you and what does not, so you can stop absorbing every feeling in the room.
Clients often tell me they feel deeply seen here. They describe finally having space to breathe.
That is the beginning of relief.
Learn more about working with me >
What our work looks like
Our sessions help you reconnect with yourself. You may feel uncertain or blank at first. You may say you do not feel anything or that emotions seem silly or excessive. That is completely okay. We start right where you are.
You learn to notice your sensations, needs, patterns, and reactions. You begin to understand why you shut down, overgive, collapse, or tense up in certain moments. You learn to separate your truth from someone else’s emotional storm. You learn how to stay connected to yourself even when things get hard. These are the internal boundaries that change everything.
Healing takes time. You may revisit old patterns, and that can feel discouraging, but each time you return with more awareness and choice. In weekly sessions, I teach you skills that you practice between sessions so they become part of your daily life. The goal is not perfection. The goal is clarity, relief, and connection.
When you learn to listen to yourself, everything changes
You begin to recognize what you need before you reach the point of exhaustion. You feel less responsible for other people’s emotions. You stop taking every shift in tone as a sign that you did something wrong. You feel clearer, calmer, and more grounded. You show up in relationships without losing yourself.
You do not have to keep doing this alone
If you are tired of holding everything in, therapy can offer a steady place to rest and rebuild. Relationship counseling online gives you room to sort through what is yours, let go of what is not, and create the internal safety you have been longing for.
Frequently Asked Questions
What kinds of women do you usually work with?
I work with women who feel overwhelmed, anxious, and disconnected from their own needs. Many appear capable and composed on the outside while feeling exhausted, lonely, and unsure of themselves on the inside.
What are internal boundaries?
Internal boundaries help you know what is yours and what is not. They help you separate your emotions from other people’s emotions so you do not take everything personally.
What if I am not in touch with my feelings?
Many women start therapy feeling blank or unsure. This often comes from years of pushing emotions aside. Therapy helps you reconnect gently and at a pace that feels manageable.
I am afraid I will feel silly talking about my feelings?
That fear makes sense. Many clients were taught that their emotions were too much. Therapy creates a space where your emotional experience is valid and welcome.
Will this help me stop absorbing other people’s emotions?
Yes. You learn how to notice what is happening inside you, identify what belongs to someone else, and stay connected to yourself even when others are upset.
Do you work with relationship concerns even if the other person is not present?
Absolutely. Most relationship work begins with understanding your own patterns, needs, and boundaries.
Is online therapy effective?
Yes. Many clients find that online therapy helps them feel more comfortable and grounded so they can do deeper internal work.
How long will therapy take?
There is no set timeline. Some clients feel relief within a few months, while others choose longer term work to support deeper change. We check in regularly about your pace and goals.
Specialities and Offerings
Beginning Doesn’t Have to Feel Overwhelming
A gentle path toward clarity, connection, and growth
Step 1. Reach Out
You don’t need to have the right words. You don’t need to feel completely sure.
Send me an email to start the conversation. Share as much or as little as feels manageable. From there, we’ll schedule a free consultation and talk through what’s been feeling hard.
This first conversation is simply a chance to see if this feels like the right fit. There is no pressure to move forward.
2. Connect and Ask Questions
In our consultation, we’ll talk about what’s bringing you here and what you’re hoping will feel different.
You’ll get a sense of how I work. You’ll have space to ask questions about the process, scheduling, or fees. We’ll decide together whether working together feels supportive and sustainable.
Your comfort matters.
3. Begin the Work
If we decide to move forward, we typically begin with weekly sessions to create steadiness and momentum.
After a couple of months, we’ll check in and adjust the pace based on what feels supportive for you.
You do not have to rush. You do not have to commit to forever.
We begin one week at a time.
You Don’t Have to Keep Earning Your Worth.
You can stay connected without shrinking.
You can feel steady without managing everyone else.
Self-trust is possible
If this resonates with you, reach out to start the conversation and schedule a free consultation. We’ll take the next step together, one week at a time.